Domestic Abuse Awareness Month

The law defines Domestic abuse as: 

‘Behaviour by a person over 16 towards another person aged over 16 and personally connected and can be physical or sexual abuse, violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour, economic abuse, psychological, emotional or other abuse. It does not matter if the behaviour is a single incident or a course of conduct.’

Often, domestic abuse happens behind closed doors, and we know how difficult to reach out as a victim. There are often such concerns as what will happen to their children, where they go, not to mention the financial worries brought on by leaving an abusive partner behind.

People mut be aware that support is out there, and it is vitally important that help is sought by victims.

There are many charities like Women’s Aid and Refuge which guide and support victims of domestic abuse to allow them to seek a better life. Meanwhile, organisations like ManKind Initiative that help male sufferers of domestic abuse.

Regardless of age, gender, or job, anyone can be on the receiving end of domestic abuse, for no fault of their own.

We look into some of the signs of domestic abuse, as well as how you can support someone who may be a victim of it.

Support a friend

If you are concerned that a friend or loved one is being abused, let them know you have noticed something is not right. They may not be ready to talk about it, but try to make opportunities for quiet times that would allow them to speak should they wish to.

If a domestic abuse sufferer confides in you that they are suffering from domestic abuse:

• Listen, and be careful not to blame them
• Acknowledge it takes a lot of strength to talk to someone about the abuse they are experiencing
• Allow them time to talk if you feel they may want to, but don’t push them to speak if not.
• Acknowledge the difficulty and fear of their situation.
• Tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, regardless of what the abuser has told them.
• Offer your support as a friend – encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions.
• Don’t tell them to leave the relationship if they aren’t ready to do so – that’s their decision.
• Ask them if they have suffered physical harm – if this is the case, offer to accompany them to a hospital or GP.
• Help them to report the assault to the police if they decide that would be the best course of action.
• Be ready to provide information regarding organisations that can offer help for people experiencing domestic abuse

If you are concerned that a friend, neighbour or loved one is a victim of domestic abuse, you can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

If you believe that there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.

Signs of domestic abuse

Emotional abuse

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

• Belittle you, or put you down?
• Blame you for the abuse or arguments?
• Deny that abuse is happening, or play it down?
• Isolate you from your family and friends?
• Stop you going to college or work?
• Make unreasonable demands for your attention?
• Accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
• Tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
• Control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?

Threats and intimidation

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

• Threaten to hurt or kill you?
• Destroy things that belong to you?
• Stand over you, invade your personal space?
• Threaten to kill themselves or the children?
• Read your emails, texts or letters?
• Harass or follow you?

Physical abuse

The abuser may hurt you in a number of ways.

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

• Slap, hit or punch you?
• Push or shove you?
• Bite or kick you?
• Burn you?
• Choke you or hold you down?
• Throw things?

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, male or female.

Does your partner, or former partner, ever:

• Touch you in a way you don’t want to be touched?
• Make unwanted sexual demands?
• Hurt you during sex?
• Pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
• Pressure you to have sex?

If your partner, or former partner, has sex with you when you don’t want to, this is rape.

Have you ever felt afraid of your partner or former partner?

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner, or former partner, might do?

Domestic abuse charities

If you believe that you are suffering from abuse, please contact one of the following to ensure you seek support as soon as you possibly can. If you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999.

• Women’s Aid – Women and children
• Refuge – Women and children
• Woman’s Trust –Women
• Leeds Women’s Aid – Women and children
• ManKind Initiative – Men
• Men’s Advice Line – Men
• The Next Chapter – Men
• Galop – The LGBT+ anti-abuse charity – LGBTQ+
• Supporting trans women in domestic and sexual violence services (Stonewall) – LGBTQ+
• SafeLives – Everyone
• IDAS – Everyone
• Victim Support – Everyone
• BehindClosedDoors – Everyone

How to report domestic abuse

West Yorkshire Police takes reports of domestic abuse very seriously.

In an ongoing incident of domestic abuse, you should report it by phone by dialling 999 right away. if at all possible, go to a safe place, such as a room with a lockable door.

The police can be contacted 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by calling:

• 999 for emergencies – If a crime is in progress or there is a danger to life.
• 101 – For non-emergencies.

If you are unable to make a phone call,alteratively you can fill out a simple online form (here) to enable you to report domestic abuse. This form will take approximately five to seven minutes to complete.

The information provided on the form will be dealt with in the same way as any other report of domestic abuse.

Police will only contact you when you say it is safe to do so and we will use the most appropriate method of communication, unless there is an urgent need to protect you from harm.

If you are worried that someone you know is suffering domestic abuse, you should phone 101 or 999 in an emergency to report this – rather than online.

Further reading

Physical Abuse claims – abuseclaims.co.uk

Sexual abuse/domestic abuse claims – Oakwood Solicitors

WHAT TO DO NEXT

Get in touch today for a no-obligation consultation. Choose one of the methods on the right-hand side of this page, or call us on 0113 306 9001 to find out how we can help you.